Thurification

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Today’s word, at first glance, might seem highly significant and mythological.

The initial thought most people have upon encountering this word is that it is the past participle of a word meaning “acting or becoming like Thor.” Picture a group of friends standing around their favorite restaurant after lunch together:

“By the way, everyone, have you seen Kevin lately? I saw him yesterday and he looks like he has put on about thirty pounds of muscle!”

“Aw, he always wanted to look like that guy from the ‘Thor’ movie. Must have gone to a plastic surgeon for a thurification.

All the guys in the group snort derisively, as though doing such a thing is ridiculous and vain; plus it is cheating. Then they all secretly start looking around for something heavy to casually lift.

Really, as much as this definition is plausible to the uneducated and unenlightened, our regular readers know the truth.

Thurification means to grow hair all over one’s body like an animal.

Oh wait, that is furification. Sorry!

Thurification means “the act of burning incense, or filling a room with the fumes of burning incense.” It can be performed by all sorts of individuals in religious ceremonies. Such a person can be called a thurifer, because they carry a thurible or censer.

Despite all that, they generally don’t look anything like Thor.

Thor Incense

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Middlescent

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What is this word?

Could be some sort of dessert in the Middle Ages.

 “Farfelee, dost thou have more middlescent, perchance? ‘Tis most splendid!”

Or perhaps it has to do with a certain function of a dog’s nose.

Scientists are divided as to the true function of the canid middlescent. Recent discoveries have shown the oblique semiotic ability of dogs’ olfactory novanglians offset the remarkably agile tensile strength of algorithmic perfunctory nostrils; because of the nodular mandibulary…. etc. etc.………

But, there is nothing historical or scientific about today’s word. It actually refers to a middle-aged person exhibiting behavior or having interests more like an adolescent, especially in choice of activities and fashion.

You know, like when you see older people appearing in television “reality” shows.

Bachelor                                                                      kevin, don’t be middlescent!

Tuesday

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This information is not commonly known, but before Mr. Dave Barry, humor did not exist on the earth.

Yes, there was the occasional “fart gags” and “burping the alphabet”, but other than that……nothing.

Here at Daily Word, we honor Mr. Barry and it is always our pleasure to present:

Dave Barry Tuesday

This week’s topic: Journalism. Enjoy!

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

Don’t you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don’t even have to be true!

At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple ax murder naked, and it wouldn’t get reported in the paper, because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications. “Hey!” they’d yell at you. “Watch it! You’re getting blood on my application!”

Confused                                                                                this is not dave barry

 

Sunday’s Word

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GODWIT.

This sounds like a word that can be used by those who go to church. It appears to be a description of a divine level being who is funny and clever. If you use this to refer to someone, they will think you paid them quite a compliment.

“Wow, when you speak with Mr. Beenybrother, you can tell he is such a godwit.” Mr. B. will smile warmly, and approve of you as an excellent judge of character.

What he doesn’t know is that you just referred to him as a marsh-wading bird with a long, upward curving bill. You are using the term to denigrate him as sanctimonious.

godwit                                    don’t be like this guy

Now, both Mr. Beenybrother and you need to behave yourselves! After all:

I give you a new commandment, that you should love one another; just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another. –Jesus

Go forth today and do as He says. You don’t want to turn into a bird.

 

No godwits were harmed in the writing of this message.

 

Two For One Saturday

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Yep, we’re back!

We could not think of a better word to celebrate our return than this little beauty: INCONSEQUENTIA.

It doesn’t describe a math problem, a strain of influenza (“Sorry Kevin, I couldn’t attend your ‘Twilight’ marathon because I had a terrible case of inconsequentia”) or a type of insect.

Although:

“Bob, you really need to close the doors and windows. A few minutes ago I saw a large swarm of inconsequentia heading this way, and they look hungry!

Bug                                     i tried to tell you, bob

No, really, inconsequentia are trifling facts or trivia.

Now…..what? OF COURSE WE DO NOT CONSIDER THIS WEBSITE TO BE A PURVEYOR OF “INCONSEQUENTIA!” How dare you even consider such a thought!

Nothing is more vital to the continued thriving of humanity than the proper use of grammar, punctuation and cool words. We are the last Guardians of the Galaxy–sorry–Guardians of Language.

Guardians                                                                     hey, there’s constance!

Here’s your other word: PUSILLANIMOUS. 

Yes, people actually use this word–although mainly in writing, not speaking, because no one honestly knows how it is pronounced.

It means cowardly, timid, lacking resolution. Although, if you need a convenient illness to get out of that movie marathon at Kevin’s house, you might try using it.

Just be sure to say it correctly.

 

Zacaton

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Zacaton is a type of grass. To be be more accurate, any of several types of grasses with tough, wiry stems native to, or cultivated in, dry regions of the U.S. and Mexico.

Dry grass

(It is also a deep water-filled sinkhole in northeastern Mexico. Just in case any of you were wondering).

We note for the edification of our readers that using ANY word beginning with “Z” automatically labels you a smart person. “Z words” (or, as we refer to them at Daily Word: ZWs) are simply not used with regularity in general societal discourse. Therefore, if you wish to impress, arm yourself with six or seven of these words, and you will find you have not only impressed your friends, but even yourself.

One note of caution: there are a few ZWs that do not have this effect. Zoo, zebra, zen and zany are easy words everyone uses, so they don’t count. Also, zeitgeist seems as though it would be good, but since it is a word that a lot of people have heard before (even though they don’t really understand it), don’t use it or you just sound pretentious.

And NEVER use zarathustrian unless you are prepared to discuss its religious and philosophical implications, and are willing to listen to someone whistle the music from 2001: A Space Odyssey………….

Hal
i don’t understand why you are using “z words”, Dave…..

 

Gnotobiotic

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This word is a perfect example why Daily Word followers should use scientific terms as often as possible in casual discourse.

Gnotobiotic refers, of course, to a controlled environment containing one or a few kinds of organisms.

Most of the general populace has absolutely no idea what “gnotobiotic” means. Therefore, you, dear readers, may inject it with impunity into any conversation, no matter the subject. The key is to use it confidently and casually. Your listener MUST have the impression that you expect ANYONE would know the meaning of the word.

“Well, Constance, I understand you vehemently disagree with me, but my position is based on my concern about the gnotobiotic threat.”

Your listener wonders several things:

  1. Is this some sort of new, high tech weapon?
  2. Are you referring to some imminent threat involving robots?
  3. Is gnotobiotic a new disease rampant throughout Asia that has stymied the CDC?
  4. Does this have something to do with the depletion of fossil fuels?
  5. Are robotic gnomes preparing to attack?

Gnomes

Since your conversational partner does not actually know what you mean, he/she will try to drop hints to get more information. You, of course, will not fall for this ploy, and move on to other topics.

This is particularly useful if you find yourself standing in line, and the person in front of you/behind you is inclined to chatter on and on about boring nonsense. Simply interrupt with a bizarre opinion, back it up with statistics you just made up, and use gnotobiotic as needed.

Politicians and “thought leaders” spouting opinions in the media do this sort of thing all the time.

Gnotobiotics