Grammar Police

Page

Grammar Police
thou must not run afoul of me

 

AH-POSTROPHES!

As a public service, in keeping with our commitment to protect the urbane and literate members of western civilization, we offer the following menacing threat (oh, sorry!) intimidating warning (no, no, no, that’s not right either…) GENTLE CORRECTION regarding apostrophe’ use–or more accurately, misuse.

Which of the following sample sentences are incorrect?

I really want to go. How many car’s should we take?
I love it when a garage sale has lot’s of good stuff.

My favorite animal’s are wombat’s.
All the teacher’s at s’chool s’hared lunche’s with their ‘s’tu’d’ent’s’.’

If you answered number three, you are right. Wombats aren’t anybody’s favorite animal!

No, really, all the above examples are a display of apostrophe’ misuse–especially the fourth, which appears to have been written by an inebriated buffalo.

Now pay attention:

DO NOT USE THE APOSTROPHE TO MAKE A WORD PLURAL! IF YOU ARE IN THE HABIT OF DOING IT, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS DECENT, CEASE!

GET PROFESSIONAL HELP IF YOU MUST, BUT STOP NOW.

Apostrophe puppies
really, this is serious stuff………

One of the uses of the apostrophe is to indicate possession (no, not the demonic kind).

Like this:

Since we are going to the store, why not take Bob’s car? 
Uh, that is the dog’s bone you are chewing on.

See? The car belongs to Bob.
Why are you eating a bone off the floor? Anyway, it belongs to the dog.

So, let us review:
If there are several people named Bob: Look at all the Bobs.
If there is only one Bob, and he has a car: That is Bob’s car.
If a pack of canines runs through your yardUh oh. Those dogs look hungry.
If you are chewing a pre-gnawed bone: Hey stupid! Get your own. That is the dog’s!

Enough to learn for now. More apostrophe fun later.

But remember to start using them correctly:

I will find you I’m not kidding.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Grammar Police

    • Thanks Medina. We have been somewhat remiss in posting new material, due to a large scale move (from California to Oregon), but will be “up and running” again soon. Much more to come to help America use English properly!

Tell us what you are thinking. We probably won't bite!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s